Stole was a new word for it. Rockman had said some choice things, some angry sentiment, but not stole. The time wasn't stolen to them, because- "Um, thank you."

Tea. It was always tea. Netto expected coffee, the horrible instant stuff that Enzan only really pulled out when he wasn't expecting anyone. At the office. He stared down at the cup for a few moments. Rockman still inspected the table.

"Um, yeah. Um- I guess that was low on the rung of crap that happened, but I thought it was- kinda the worst part." This, Rockman did react to- his hologram disappeared, but he was only returning to the PET. "Uh- the tech he was, working on, was also kinda bad too."

He took a sip, and the sting on his tongue seemed to invigorate him to keep talking. "It was, like, a thing to make it easy to do full-synchro with any navi. A Link. Based on, like, the pulse transmission stuff. Just a lot safer. In theory."

Maybe if he said it in a rush it wouldn't feel so bad. "It made me really sick, and uh-" He glanced at the PET, and went for it- "I think it's made me, um, unable to synch with Rock. At all."

He said it, and it was a bygone conclusion, but soon after the words left his mouth there was a steady drip drip from his cheeks. He was crying. It was the absolute worst part. Damn the lost time, damn the pain, damn the sickness and the hallucinations, this was what was stolen from him. Netto blushed, as if ashamed of it, and looked away from Pen. "W-We just go fucking ballistic if we do. Can't control it anymore. W-Which sucks."

Understatement. Netto pushed the heel of his free hand into his eye to stem the sudden flow of tears. He thought he'd already cried them all.

"Um," Netto stalled out, which was quite unusual of him. If there was anything he was known for it was his quick wit; but Pen's hands on his face made his eyes water. He quickly shook his head (a motion Rockman had done a thousand times before) as if to clear the emotion he was feeling. He'd already talked this out with Enzan and Laika. He could do this again.

"I mean, I guess- I guess he did. I don't know what to think about it," and he was honest. Brutally so. Rockman looked at an interesting chunk of the table, as if he were tracing the wood grain, and did not chime in again. "Do- do you remember how, like, I like- showed up late?"

(Netto remembered it and felt a pang in his chest; looking at Enzan's betrayal, all over his face, in that horrible hospital bed- oh, and Laika-)

"A-After everything happened. W-Well, um. I guess- we were all kinda busy, right? Haha- um." The laughter was clearly nervous. He started to twirl a strand of hair near the burn scar. "I didn't. Know. I - I didn't know what was happening when it happened. Cain-" He loathed the name, it felt horrid in his mouth now- "He blocked my communication and didn't, tell me. Made it seem like everyone just stopped reaching out. He would- randomly let calls through, so I wouldn't get suspicious."

Netto suddenly barked out a laugh louder than he meant to. "When I say it like that, it sounds- sounds like some real villain shit, ahaha."

Rockman's little hologram glanced up at Netto, though didn't quite look at him. He'd seen it all already, known this part; but it didn't stop the ache. Didn't stop what they now shared.

Netto opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again. It just hung there, and the shock of what Pen had said made the fresh scar on his temple ache. She was supposed to get the next Link trial— of course, why wouldn't she? Enzan probably was too, though he'd had the good sense to shut up about it. Pen just didn't even know. What do you even say to that? He could think of a thousand things, but all of his defenses had made Enzan and Laika look at him in that way that made his chest ache. Some mix of shock, pity, horror, and anger. He didn't want to see it on Pen too, and certainly not because he was still sorting his feelings about all of it.

Instead, he gave into temptation and placed his PET on the table. Rockman appeared a moment later, hologram sitting atop the device. Instead of Netto, he spoke what his operator was struggling to say. "Dr. Cain is getting fired. Soon. The ethics board review is in a few days. Dad is on it. That project is probably going to get scrapped."

Netto wrung his wrists, and somewhat shamefully looked away from the table. Guilt was written all over his face, though for what it wasn't clear. There was too much to say, and that brand new pit of anxiety hadn't really left him yet. It would one day, that he was sure of– but all of these feelings were new to him.

Whatever Meiru was burdened by, Netto lacked the memory to fill in the gaps. His time at Via Iracunda was everything and nothing; flashes of anger, flashes of violence, and nothing.

"Oh no no," he waved his hands, with a slight gesture to the window. "I've got folks to get me things, don't you concern yourself with that. Plenty of runners." Who those runners were didn't matter. He had connections!

Netto shifted so he wasn't so languid. Really, he looked fine, save for the occasional bandage, and a re-opened burn that sliced his side burn near his temple. Where the Link had sat.

"It's nice to meet you properly," he said with a winning smile. "Feel like every other time has been like, passing trains in the night." (Passing ships, but whatever.) "I'm Netto, but- I guess you knew that. Haha."

He didn't mind the papers- it made him feel a little better about the somewhat constant mess his own apartment was in. Netto didn't fully realize just how early it was, as his days had been so upside-down.

Netto blinked, and didn't quite respond to Pen right away. So Enzan didn't say anything to her? A crawling fear began in the pit of his stomach- Pen definitely didn't know, and that had to be that. "Um - yeah, I am up early."

He felt the urge, but didn't yet dip for the PET in his pocket. It was a crutch. "Umm. No, I'm not on my way to work- um, did Enzan talk to you? Recently?" He laughed nervously, and remembered to take his place at the table. "I've been on leave, remember- um, I mean, it was gonna expire last week, but- I extended it. For a week."

He giggled, though it was an anxious action. He didn't realize how suddenly awkward this would be. Would Pen lecture him, like Laika and Enzan had - would it be an interrogation? (It was necessary, and they were justified, but still...!)

You know that an Alpha Agent is linked to this world and she knows everything about you. There is no point in reminding her of anything; it was her business, because it was her birthright. She has a right to information, as it was all they gave her, even in death.

"I suppose he could have infected you," she muses. "Trading it in your mouth."

Vulgar. She giggles and sets the glass down. Her hand leaves it and you envision grabbing it and running. "Too bad, darling. Try again?"

Your bet came up nothing. She resets the wheel, and waits for your bet- as if you'd do anything else, now that temptation has you.

I said that? Rockman clawed in his memory, but drew a somewhat dark blank. His brow furrowed, and he tried to hone in on Cometman.

It was a dick thing to say. It could have been him. What was Cometman? He was in the net, and that made him a Navi, for all intents and purposes. But...he did feel something. A weird sort of imbalance. Cometman, for lack of a better term, felt between- something unlike him, and something just like him.

"I'm sorry," and he meant it. "I- I have no idea what I was saying. I wasn't really myself." He hoped that there would be no question to that; Serpentine's influence was a good enough veil, he hoped.

But he was worried about it. That was weird. Maybe they could get somewhere anyway- "What do they call you where you come from-? Like..." He gestured. "Do they call you a navi? They must not, if you're so...confused about it."

Netto raised his arm from the couch, craning a little so he could look at her. He'd remembered her face in fear, and that image flashed for a moment- but it was only a moment. "Hi," he called back, and offered a bit of a dopey, sunshine-y smile.

He really was just...a guy, sprawled on his couch, nursing his ego and his wounds. Like this, you could see his undercut was growing in a bit, giving him a fuzzy look. His glasses were a bit askew.

"Sorry about the mess." It was a real Male Living Space (tm) in there. His furniture consisted of exactly the oversized sectional he sat on, a television, and a collection of pictures and awards in the corner. "And I really don't have a lot to offer you, which is a shame. My favorite part of guests is sweets."

Netto laughed to himself, and shuffled so that Meiru could sit on the couch if she wanted. There was enough room to be comfortable.

@role

Netto was better.

He'd done his crying, his moping, his bellyaching for a little over a week. He'd spent that endless time in his childhood bedroom, counting cracks in the ceiling and fluff on the carpet. He'd just needed time to think. Needed time to roll that conversation over in his head, commit it to memory, not let it be stolen by the wave of shame that'd been crashing into him.

He'd gone on runs, spanned half the downtown in record time. He breathed in cool seaside air, felt the salt sting his eyes, reminded himself of his own mortality. He'd done all the things that just felt right to do after your worldview was sort of shattered entirely.

Well, everything except the normal things.

He was supposed to come to the main office come Monday. He wasn't going out on assignment again, but…Cain was inquiring about the next round of testing. He had paperwork to sign. This was going to be the last trial before his paper was published. Just four weeks of field tests and then it was over.

A part of Netto wanted to say yes. He wanted to sign the papers, because he wasn't the type to back down before a job was through. He wanted to see this through because it felt like it meant something if he did. That all the horrible things were meaningful if it meant something useful came out of it.

But he thought of the way Enzan had looked at him; how Laika had. How he was no longer carrying a subPET in his pocket. It would be a let down to them, wouldn't it be?

…Wouldn't it be?

But he was better now. The sun was shining and beautiful and it felt great on his face. He'd shed the long sleeved, Official issue workout clothes and had a plain sleeveless shirt and shorts— which meant all of his skin was getting kissed by that sun. He reminded himself that when things were bad, you had to hold onto what was good. And the sun was good.

But the weight of incoming work did weigh on him. He felt this new resistance he'd never felt before, this inertia to stay away. He really enjoyed his work with the Officials, especially the restoration end of it– sure, the Netbattling wasn't as fun anymore without Rock, but there was still a lot to enjoy.

…and a lot to dread. His feet had started to take him to the next best place he knew aside from home; Pen's apartment. She must have felt this too, right? Maybe this was just normal nerves. Enzan wouldn't get it, because he'd been in this since he was a kid— plus, he was already stressing them out so bad over the last week. He could spread the work out.

In a moment he was at Pen's door, knocking gently— it only just occured to him she might not be home, because of said job, but maybe it was still worth a shot.

"Pen? Hey— it's Netto!" He called through the door. How much did she know…? Did Enzan tell her about their conversation? Maybe they had, and that was okay. This was nothing to be ashamed of, Dad had told him so.

hey only im allowed to test

Netto groaned as he forced himself to get up for a brief moment. There was way too much trash around the couch to justify someone coming over right now, and he could envision Rockman's snipping at him...

He scooped up at least three juice boxes, and two takeout containers, and another container from dinner half finished. He ambled towards the kitchen and dropped them off, catching a glint of himself in the reflection of his fridge. Ugh, he still looked like a mess, but he supposed Meiru saw all of his beating. Hopefully that didn't hurt his impressions too deeply.

[MSG: ] any time

He plopped back down on the couch, grumbling about his sore sides.

[MSG: ] I've got plentyy of folks looking out for me. Don't worry about that

Rockman flinched a little from Cometman's laugh. His arms fell to his sides, and he took a half-step backward. Just surprise at such a response, nothing more.

And then his brow furrowed, tilting his head at Cometman's sudden ask. He seemed to relax, too— his shoulders fell, and his stature seemed to loosen. Rockman was a very normal Navi, so he could easily answer whatever questions he had. ("One of the good Dr. Hikaris" was a strange thing to hear...)

"You seem normal to me," Rockman murmured, watching him touch the wrapper. "Looks like a compatibility layer? You're from a different...internet, I guess. You'd have to be."

Rockman had no reason to think Cometman was strange in some unique way, aside from the whole world-altering and time-altering properties. "I mean– hm."

...It was strange as hell that Cometman found it weird. That he had the sense to believe there was a wrongness in him, and that wrongness meant something. A program was a program and all it knew was itself, what use did it have for knowing of abnormality?

"I mean– doesn't that make sense to you? You're from a different place. Right? I guess— I'm surprised you actually...find it weird."

Rockman had the sense that Cometman was also like him, in that a cheerful operator went a long way into modeling normalcy. The cheesy grin looked a lot like that girl's (Ellen, he thought, who's name had escaped him entirely in the void of Serpentine).

"Glad you're...alive," Rockman said, then grimaced- what a stupid thing to say. Cometman may have had his own stumble, but Rockman was basically tripping and falling on his face. He folded his arms, almost visibly walling himself off. There was no reaching for this well of friendship to save Netto; there was nothing and static and unity. He had nothing in common with this guy.

(...Was he a navi? He was on the internet like a navi. But Cometman was asking about navis, and what they were, and Rockman was a navi and nothing else.)

"What- what did you want to talk to me about? Besides- the Colosseum. Something about navis?" His shoulders drew up, tense. For all his cool-headedness in text, his emotions were almost too plain for a navi.

Netto had to think for a really long time about the messages volleyed back to him. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to mull over the missing pieces he didn't have. Something aside from the whole mess with Alpha was bothering Meiru? Why? What could it even be???

Was it really just that- he got the short straw? No, that was pessimistic. Much more suited to his navi. He'd made some fuck ups, and didn't get along with everyone, but that was just how things went. Try as he might, he couldn't be close to everyone. Even if that stung.

But then Roll offered to connect him to Meiru, and that sounded...well, nice. At least he could shoot his shot, make it known he wasn't actually crazy, and if they weren't friends, then that was that.

[MSG: ] If she wants to, lol. its not really me who has stuff to talk about - i mean, not anymore lol
[MSG: ] no pressure, but im still a sack on my couch. shes gonna have to come here for an in person convo
[MSG: ] which is a good idea because im a bad texter

Why did he dump all that stuff to Roll? What a strange thing to do. Getting physically thrown around like a ragdoll was doing a number on his sanity. Oh well.

"Waiting long enough is right," she hums, "it's always been a waiting game."

You know she knows too much; somehow she is linked to the life tree of this world and it breathes and hums your gospel. She is disciple and prophet and messiah all in one; an agent, they'd started to call them. You know she is dangerous and even more-so now that she's produced something she certainly shouldn't have. But you don't really care. Because you are waiting.

She places your chips just so and the ball and wheel spin. They spin, and spin, and spin, the colors distracting and enticing. You both watch for a while. Then she watches you.

"Waiting for something you never even had," she says, as if finishing an unspoken sentence. "I'm not even sure why you crave this stuff." She raises the shot glass and swirls the liquid in it- you are certain of its contents now more than ever, as the faint purple-black glints in the light. It's the only thing that rips your attention away from the wheel.

"Not like it's yours. It was your little lover boy's. You didn't even get a taste."

testing again to see if it picks up replies

i looove testing

EDIT: still love it

EDIT: love it less

EDIT: death

"Just us, darling." Her voice isn't very loud, and it shouldn't be heard over the sound of the casino, but it's all you can focus on. "Not many get the privilege of playing at my table."

She has a light lisp; her fangs affect her voice, and they glint in the light as her tongue flickers out to wet her lips. Serpentine idly plays with the roulette ball in her hand, rolling it over her fingers, humming softly. "Do you want a refreshment? You can relax, Enzan."

She says your name with a sort of purr, which seems uncharacteristic for her snake-like features. She doesn't hiss, but she does allure, and she looks at you like you are the whole universe. Like you have hung the stars and moon for her. Like she would do anything for you.

Her hand clicks; beside her a useless servant arrives- navi or human, it doesn't really matter- with a plate in their hand. When lowered, it reveals a small shot glass full of...something. But you know what it is, don't you? Like your focus bled into Serpentine, it now bleeds into her glass, as she takes it up in her hand- she doesn't even need it, what a waste.

"None for you?" She asks- she knows, of course. She knows what she's doing to you. You get the sense she likes it, and demands more of your pride to be played as bet on the table; lacking that, maybe it's your dignity she wants.

Netto blew out an unexpected held breath. He would have to forward the apology, once Rockman was - well. Whenever he would be done hanging out with Blues. And Roll was right on the nose- which mirrored their own, honestly. Meiru and Roll had always been so damn smart, and Netto was too dense to realize that until long after they lived far away.

[MSG ] I think you're probably right
[MSG ] I mean, like. Not to defend myself too much here
[MSG ] But everyone met me under a really bad circumstance, lol

Netto ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out his next words. What was too much? She was a navi, and she wasn't necessarily a friend. But that also meant he had very little to lose by saying "too much".

[MSG ] You can only be so well adjusted under stress when your brother and your friends get chewed up and spit out, you know?
[MSG ] And all of that happening when I got on leave for the first time in years. Basically I mean, like, you're right, I think. I'd like to think you're right.

He shuffled, sighed, wishing this conversation was not happening over a text message. He was a bad texter- Laika and Enzan had a lighthearted hatred of their groupchat, because Netto constantly left cryptic messages in it. He just wasn't very good at texting!

[MSG ] And I think the other-mes think I'm like- perfect.
[MSG ] I'm what they should have turned into. A good son, a good friend, a good soldier.

Yeah, maybe this was too much. But now he was going and he really suddenly couldn't stop, just like when he was talking to that Rockman.

[MSG ] But like- there's a lot they don't even know. They just assumed that from duress and the way I look. I get it, I don't begrudge them, but- it's not my fault? I guess? It's not my fault all of that awfulness from my world spilled out into everyone else. It's not my fault anyone got infected with my awfulness or whatever.

There was a longer pause between messages. Netto had gotten up, despite his body's protest, to lean against the windows overlooking the view he'd been so obsessed with when he got the place. Felt like he barely looked out of them anymore. Then, in rapid fire:

[MSG ] And like, your poor operator had to see me going fucking crazy.
[MSG ] Pardon the language.
[MSG ] I just think it's apt.
[MSG ] Like I said. I didn't mean for all that to - infect everyone else. It's not my fault. But I guess- I guess, with all the people in that chat and all, we've all seen all this shit. I must look like an enemy anyway. And I don't do myself any favors, with my stupid little outbursts.

Netto tapped his foot, and ran a hand through his hair again.

[MSG ] It's hard to reach out when you're already on the back-foot. So, I guess- um. I appreciate you reaching out ahead of me.

Cometman was huge. This made Rockman a little internally frustrated, as he only had a vague recall of what he looked like back in the Colosseum. Certainly not so huge. Reminded him a lot of navis like MagnetMan, of whom he had no idea how it was practical to be that huge. Rockman stepped back to give him the room to come into himself.

Awkwardly, he shuffled on his feet. He blew a strand of hair out from his eyes. For all intents and purposes, he was quite the different Navi than Cometman had seen in the Colosseum; less bitey, less controlled, and certainly more grounded in reality. In fact, he didn't look much like his bark; he wasn't even making eye contact with Cometman. Just staring a little bit past him.

"Welcome," he said, though it felt sort of stupid to say. Cometman had been to this world before. Wasn't a first time. "Sorry about the whole, like, fight to the death type thing. Not my idea of a pleasant day, that's for sure."

It was becoming more and more obvious to Rockman that all his life, he was using Netto as a proxy to socialize. It was a lot easier then, when they just bounced off of each other. He was terribly adrift on his own. And terribly awkward.